just like you i need somebody to say that it is ok

嘿　變成大人才知道　光著腳到不了的地方
長大　長高　還是到不了　
嘿　不再冒險犯難了　
放開了夢想追求成功 那是　
需要　
還是一種炫耀
＃要拼到第幾回合　能不能　夠不夠　我不知道　
想一想下半輩子　這樣過　有點糟　
也許男人只是不知道　什麼時候應該求饒
再年輕一次多好　
要愛到第幾個人　
停一停　看一看　是個問號　
只能等下半輩子　一起哭　一起笑

To C.C.C.

You are the earth.

i looked up at the night sky and wonder, how many stars are there. The answer? 1000000000. one hundred thousand million. So, how many of the stars have come near enough to become meteors to hit the earth, well, its 1 million. but, only 25 0000 of them have landed.

Now lets say, if stars are people you might end up with, how hard is it to find your one and only soulmate, the chance is ? 0.025%.

Plus, there are too many to pick. Whats worse, you might think, the next star might not be that much different from the other stars.

And lets say you are lucky enough to finally find 3 of your favorite stars,but they both shine the same, it adds in more difficulty to your decision for finding a soulmate.

Now,lets say you get even luckier, the star you like has landed, you would wonder, what if the star fall for me purely for my gravity.

And a sadder news is that, some stars only last a year, and after a star dies, it might becomes a blackhole or result in a supernova.

At this point of my post...in case you haven't realized. The star that last a really long time, and always has been for you, and it might not shine 24 hours in front of your eyes but still shining upon you...

is the SUN.

left.

i pick up a pen and try to draw

a picture of me standin tall

in a hall with no wall that can't be crawled and

thoughts that can really be outfought

where i don't have to show my middle finger to the lord

a place of life that has no curtain call

But the more i tryna draw the more it brings me pain

all the stains i wish i had not attained

its outta restrain

its tearin me inside out like the cocaine in my vein

im goin insane

cant explain

how i feel the world is fallin on me like the acid rain

On a paper so torn up im puttin the puzzles back

everyday people walks up to me and they tryna fake

i dream all these people can be a dream i forsake

just for a moment

but this life has no goddamn coffee break

they wear you up its hard to stay awake

i brake

i see all they ever wanted is just to make me mad

and everytime i do they want me to lose my head

this is when i realize composure is hard to take

we have no choice but all slowly learn to hate

its fate

we all got addicted to fuck the words they say

we dont fuckin' care

its too much for us to bear

life isn't fair and no one can repair

maybe you can understand when we all have the different dad.

when the silence of the deep nights strikes, the naked soul inside my head wakes up.

it would mumble, hundreds and hundreds of What-Ifs.

What if, i was a better brother.

What if, i was a better son.

What if, i was a better me?

i wouldn't had missed so much, done so much.

It's the silence, that makes the loudest noise.

plus she, is now in a story i can't be a part with.

i hate quiet nights.

*update 'Train to Live'

*Thx for lending me this Gi during training Mr Yeoh.


Not exactly the diary people, so i'd love to say a little about my trainin' instead.

Caught some bruises in the training center these couple of weeks. The recent injury is my left foot which was caused during a particular sparring. At this moment, i still can not access any hardcore physical training, which is really frustrating. Remember my first sparring with the heavyweight boxing champion, i didn't strike much durin the early match, then i heard the coach shouted '20seconds'. That was the time i landed 3 head combos. But that didn't end well, he charged in and landed non-stop combos and caused my mouth to bleed, Gotta get a mouthguard soon. Gracie Jiu-jitsu hasn't really caught my passion untill these times. I just can't wait to get back to have more tactical training.

My 'Brother' ,the Champion of that gym, has been givin a lot of helpful advices in my stance and striking, really do appreciate it. Hope the fight this month will turn out great.

So now im back here in KL, despite my sprained leg, i went to the workout center to work on my upper body. Without my legs its really kinda hard to sweat.

And lastly, happy new year 2010.

Ghost

There's a ghost inside of me.
Its tearin' me inside out with every little sip.
Hauntin me throughout the days and every sleeps.
Like the rain soaking the heart of the city through the crack of a street.
Still this is pretty sweet.
Like a dying folk prayin for to make dead end meet.
I can't bear to swallow this ghost inside of me
It is somehow puttin my mind at ease everytime i feeling it.
I adore it.